How would you respond if your child had no interest in studying?
(1) Have a private Tudor.
(2) Force him or her to study more.
(3) Support his or her other interests.
(4) Let the child establish his or her own priorities in life.
(5) Offer financial incentives for improved performance.
Sample answers
(A) First, we would need to know what the underlying factors are. Is the schoolwork too easy, so the child is bored, or too hard, so the child needs more help? Is the lack of interest due to peer pressure, or is it because the child does not like the teacher or the subject matter? Perhaps some other interest, such as athletics or art or music, is taking too much time, or maybe the child is "in love." It is even possible that a difficulty at home is the root cause of the poor performance at school. But before we can do anything we need to know what we are dealing with.
(B) Try the old "carrot-and stick" approach. This refers to the method of urging forward a mule drawn wagon. Hang a carrot a few inches in front of the hungry mule's nose so he will keep walking toward it. Meanwhile, hit him with a big stick when he slows down or stops. In other words, promise rewards for good behavior and punishment for bad; this works most of the time.
Speak your mind
How would you respond if:
1. Your salary was cut?
2. Your young child went through your wallet?
3. Your son or daughter got caught shoplifting?
4. Your parents demanded a large allowance every month for pocket money?
5. Your wife wanted to divvy up the chokes 50:50?
6. Your boss insisted on unpaid overtime three times a week?
7. Your sweetheart suddenly broke off your relationship.'
8. Your friend asked to borrow some money.'
9. Your grown child announced the intention to stay single forever?
10. The government decided to raise cigarette and liquor taxes drastically?
Speak your mind helpers
How would you respond if:
1. Your salary was cut?
(A) My company would not do that to me unless it were in desperate financial trouble. So I guess the only thing I could do would be to cut my spending as much as possible and knuckle down to work even harder so that my firm could become more competitive. That way, it could restore my salary more quickly and perhaps even give me a raise.
(B) That would be outrageous. I would either stop working for that outfit immediately or I would long on until I found another job. I could not continue working for anyone that thought so little of my talent and loyalty.
2. Your young child went through your wallet?
(A) Children quite naturally wonder about everything, and their curiosity should be encouraged, not inhibited. So I would not do anything. Besides, I don't have anything to hide or be embarrassed about, so why should I care?
(B) Kids need to learn that other people have a right to privacy. The first time, I would try to explain the concept to my child. The second time, I would explain it again in different terms and also give warning that I would not tolerate any other infractions. The third time would result in a memorable punishment, and if the behavior continued each incident would be more harshly punished.
3. Your son or daughter got caught shoplifting?
(A) Most of the time kids (and, for that matter adults too) don't shoplift because they feel the need to get something they don't have and can't afford. Usually it is because they need to feel part of a group or because they need attention. So, if my child exhibited this kind of dishonest behavior I would seek psychological counseling for him or her.
(B) If I got a phone call from the police that my child had been caught shoplifting, I would not hurry to the police station. I would take my time and let him or her absorb all the lessons from being in that environment, so that the act would not likely be repeated. I would also apply additional punishment when I got him or her home. I would want to make sure that my child understood that stealing has bad consequences for the thief.
4. Your parents demanded a large allowance every month for pocket money?
(A) I would refuse! I have enough trouble talking care of my own spouse and children. Besides, I could not imagine why they would need to spend so much money on non- necessities.
(B) Although it would be a severe blow to my own financial stability, I would try my best to meet their request. After all, for decades they sacrificed much more than that on my behalf. Everything I have I owe to them. And they would not ask for this money now, unless they felt they really needed it.
5. Your wife wanted to divvy up the chores 50:50?
(A) If we both worked outside the home, I think her request would be very fair indeed. Or we could jointly hire a housekeeper to do the chores. But if my wife didn‘t have any other responsibilities except maintaining our place, I would be extremely reluctant to do anything more unless it were an emergency of some sort.
(B) Deriving a numerical value for each of the chores would be very difficult, so how could we know what an exact division looked like? Is drying the dishes equivalent to washing them? Is cleaning the floor equal to carrying out the garbage? What is doing the laundry worth? Shopping? Of course, we could write each chore on a piece of paper and pick them randomly. Or we could alternate doing the same chore.
6. Your boss insisted on unpaid overtime three times a week?
(A) In most countries, overtime work gets paid at "time and a half" or "double time" (or even "triple time," if it is on a holiday). This means that the hourly wage is multiplied by 1.3 or 2 (or 5) for every extra hour one puts in. Under these circumstances, I would gladly do more work. But not for free or even at my regular wage.
(B) I could go along with this if it were a temporary situation and we were behind on our contract obligations. And of course, I would expect the boss to reward me rather generously later on for my work "above and beyond the call of duty." Otherwise, I would not like the situation at all. Maybe I couldn't leave my firm for the time being, but I would certainly be eager to go elsewhere
7. Your sweetheart suddenly broke off your relationship?
(A) This has happened to everyone, hasn't it? We all go through the same phases of hope and despair and self-doubt. We eat too much or not enough and have trouble sleeping. We try to "accidentally" be places where we think he or she will see us, to remind that person of how much we had meant to each other. Perhaps we send desperate messages via mutual friends. But, eventually, life returns to normal — until the next time it happens. And then we undergo the same process all over again.
(B) If that happened to me, I would be glad that it happened when it did, rather than later on when the parting would be even more difficult. Obviously, this break-up would be a clear sign that we were not compatible after all, so splitting up sooner rather than later would be the best solution.
8. Your friend asked to borrow some money?
(A) It would depend on who and how much. I would loan small amounts to some people, and if they never paid me back I could live will it; but I wouldn’t risk any large sums on them. For really good friends, who had stable personalities and good prospects, I'd be willing to do more for them, but I'd probably a3k tor some sort of collateral just in case.
(B) My grandfather turned down an opportunity to go into a lucrative venture with my uncle because he thought that money and family should be kept separate. I think he was absolutely right, and even more so in the case of friends. Too many people I know lost both their friend and their money by placing trust above good sense.
9. Your grown child announced the intention to stay single forever?
(A) I wish I had decided to do that! My experience with marriage has really turned me off that institution for good. I say, let people wed who desperately want to, but try hard to avoid the situation if you can. We can get all the benefits of marriage without having to suffer from the disabilities.
(B) I would not stand for that decision at all, Children have obligations to their parents, and these include passing on the family name and genes in a respectable manner. Staying single js just an example of excessive selfishness, and I would hope that I had raised my own kids better than that.
10. the government decided to raise cigarette and liquor taxes drastically?
M: Let's go out.
F: Great! Where to? What's the special occasion?
M: We need to go to a nightclub or a bar every night this week, if we can. And next week too!
F: Why? What are we celebrating?
M: We aren't celebrating anything. Just the opposite, actually.
F: I don't understand, What's going on here?
M: The taxes on alcohol and tobacco are going up 200/o next month, so we need to take advantage of the lower prices while we can.
F: Don't be silly. You'll go broke partying every night just to save a little money later.
M: But there won't be any later. I can't afford to go out once the new prices take effect. So I need to use up all my going-out now, while I can.
F: Why don't you just stock up on extra cigarettes and booze now? And then you'll have an adequate supply when the price hike goes into effect.
M: But eventually I'll run out, and I still won't be able to go out. So, just indulge me. Let's have a good time while we still can!
F: OK, I'm game. But if you come to your senses, let me know. I won't be disappointed when we stop.
M: Don't worry. We’11 have to stop soon enough. Let's go!
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