SYM-11-Everyday Lies

People lie every day! A man tells his wife that her new dress is lovely even though it looks terrible on her; she tells him that he is still as handsome as when they first met. People routinely inform a dying man that he looks well to keep his spirits up. Doctors sometimes withhold the worst news from their patients, and politicians and soldiers deliberately spread untruthful information to protect national security. In addition, of course, many folks lie to protect themselves or to avoid embarrassing situations. Lying is a natural, and sometimes necessary part of human life. 

Discuss the following sentences: say whether or not • they are lies and if they serve a good purpose.

1. There is a God. 

2. Heaven and hell both exist.

3. I will love you forever. 

4.  Sorry, I'm too busy now. 

5. Money can buy everything.

6. It's not my fault. 

7. If you study hard, you will succeed. 

8. I didn't know. 

9. The traffic was heavy.

10. Politicians work for the good of their nations and their people. 

Sample answers

(A) To tell people that they will surely succeed if only they study hard is a lie but a necessary lie. The real truth is that there are no guarantees of success or failure. Some dedicated, intelligent people will inexplicably fail despite their ability and hard world, just as good fortune may shine on a handful of lazy, stupid folks who are lucky enough to win a lottery. However, studying hard is usual|y a prerequisite for success, and most people who do not study hard won't go very far in life. But to tell them that would do Item a disservice; they need to believe that success will automatically come to them if they are diligent, or they may decide to take a chance on pure luck.

(B) The only people who believe that money can do everything either have no money or too much money. The poor use their IacI‹ of money to excuse their inability to do things, while the rich have an ink/ated idea of their own worth and porent/o/. Everybody else realizes that money is very useful but has limited utility; the real value lies in courage, ability, perseverance, intelligence, sociability, and many other personal characteristics. So telling people that money can do everything” harmfully distorts the truth.

Speak your mind

1. Talk about the lies that people tell most often.

2. What would be a common lie told by:

(a) an ordinary worker?

(b) the boss?

(c) parents?

(d) kids?

(e)  the jobless?

(f) husbands to wives?

(g) wives to husbands?

(h) teachers to their students?

(I) a drunk driver stopped by a cop?

(j) a person who is late for an appointment?

(k) someone who didn't call his friend right back?

(1) people who get drunk often?

(m) anyone who can't quit smoking?

(n) a man or woman who fails to lose weight?

(o) people who just got fired?

(p) a man who is having an affair?

(q) a woman who is unfaithful to her husband?

3. Do you think white lies are necessary? Why? What would happen if people stopped telling them?

Speak your mind helpers

1. Talk about the lies that people tell most often.

(A) Mostly, people lie to keep out of trouble. So they tell their boss they were late because their kids were sick and had to be taken to a doctor, or they tell their teacher that they had done their homework but the dog ate it.

(B) A lot of times people lie because they don't want to hurt needlessly the feelings of someone else. They think if the other person is happy in his ignorance, why should I be the one to spoil it for him?

2. What would be a common lie told by:

an ordinary worker?

(A) Even though I’m the hardest working person in the office, everyone else always gets the promotion or the raise.

(B) I don't think my boss has any idea at all about management. The whole factory would operate better if he’d listen to the real workers once in a while — they’re the only ones who completely u understand the process.

the boss?

(A) The people under me are completely incompetent as well as Lazy. If I’m not watching them every minute, they’d never do a thing on their own.

(B) Because of circumstances beyond our control, we’re forced to lay off  20% of our workforce, reduce the wages of the ones remaining, and institute firm controls over any future raises.

parents?

(A) When I was your age, I thought nothing of going to school all day and then coming home and working around the house until dark. All you want to do is play!

(B) I feel so lucky! Nobody else has such a clever, talented son. I know you have everything it takes to achieve anything in life you wish.

Kids?

(A) I wish I had different parents. Anybody else would do a better job. Mine never pay any attention to me or my problems; all they care about is their own situation-  until I get in trouble at school. Then they perk up! Then they pretend that they have done everything possible Ie to raise me right, and it's all my own fault if I do things wrong.

(B) Yesterday in math class my teacher couldn't find her answer book, so she had to try to answer the questions on her own. She got most of the problems right, but the hardest one in the chapter — the one we all needed help with the most-she didn't know how to do. After failing to figure it out twice, she came up with some lame excuse. I think she said we were making too much noise for her to concentrate- something like that, anyway. I wish the teachers would stop pretending that they always know everything and admit that they’re wrong too so metimes.

the jobless?

(A) Impersonal economic forces are to blame. Any job I've ever had, I've done it perfectly. It can't be my own fault that I’m out of work.

(B) I would have gotten that last job I applied for if it hadn't gone to the owner's brother-in-law instead. I certainly was more qualified than he was!

husbands to wives?

(A) Sorry I’m late, Dear, I had extra work at the office I had to catch up on.

It won't happen a gain!

(B) You’re still the most beautiful woman in the world.

wives to husbands?

(A) This dress was on sale. Usually, it costs three times as much, so I couldn’t resist such a good deal. But don’t worry, I’m still well within my budget this week.

(B) I know you work hard, Honey. I understand completely when you tell me you’re too tired to go out for dinner and a few drinks after work. I don't mind.

teachers to their students?

(A) If you don't an A in my class you will never amount to anything.

(B) I'm always right! Don't forget it.

a drunk driver stopped by a cop?

(A) Really, officer, I only had one beer. It must be that the cold medicine I took has impaired my ability to drive.

(B) I'm sorry, I've never driven drunk before in my life. My mother just died and in my grief, I lost count of how much I drank at the wake. But it'll never happen again, I swear!

a person who is late for an appointment?

(A) I left in plenty of time, but there was an accident on the highway that slowed me down.

(B) You wouldn't believe what happened! My watch stopped at noon and ] didn't realize how late it was until just a half hour ago. I hope you can forgive me.

someone who didn't call his friend right back?

(A) I tried to call, but your phone was busy.

(B) I lost your phone number and had to get it from someone else.

people who get drunk often?

(A) I don‘t have a drinking problem. I just like to have fun. But I can quit any time I want.

(B) The pressure at work and at home is just unbelievable. I cope with it as well as I can, but sometimes I need a little drink to relax and w¡nd down. Then I‘m OK, and I can deal with my problems effectively once again.

anyone who can't quit smoking?

(A) I smoke because I enjoy it. If I really wanted to quit, I would.

(B) A man I know smoked three packs a day his entire adult life, and he lived to be 97!

a man or woman who fails to lose weight?

(A) The media put too much attention on the way we look. In reality, people come in all shapes and sizes, and we should be comfortable with who we really are instead of trying to meet some impossible image imposed on us by others!

(B) I don't understand it. I hardly eat at all, and I get plenty of exercise. It must be genetic.

people who just got fired?

(A) My boss had it in (or me since the first day I started there. He was just looking for an excuse to get rid of me.

(B) I wasn't fired, I quit!

a man who is having an affair?

(A) I never get any attention at home. I'm still in the prime of my life; I can't just allow my sex life to dry up like a raisin. If I can't get any loving at home, I’ll get it somewhere else.

(B) This doesn't mean anything. It‘s just for kicks. I still love my wife and wouldn't hurt her

for the world.

a woman who is unfaithful to her husband?

(A) If my man cheats, why shouldn’t I? After all, pay back is fair game, right?

(B) I'm bored at home and I never see my husband. He's gone all day at work, and he doesn't get home until after midnight. What am I supposed to do with myself?

3. Do you think white lies are necessary? Why? What would happen if people stopped telling them?

M: How do I look?

F: You look wonderful, just like always. Did I spend too much on my new suit?

F: No, it looks great on you. When you go to that meeting, I know you'll wow them with your proposals.

M: Afterwards, why don't we go somewhere to celebrate?

F: Great! I'll wear my new dress. And that new diamond necklace I just

M: That sounds wonderful! I'm glad I have your support. Sometimes I'm not so sure of myself, and it’s great to know that you are behind me boosting me all the time.

F: Nonsense. You’re always basically on the right track, but you just need a little nudge from time to time to keep you pointed in the right direction. That's all.

M: Are you sure?

F: Of course, I'm sure!

M: Well, then, maybe now is a good time to test the theory. 1 won't be coming home tonight.

F: Why not? Another late meeting?

M: No, there's no late meeting. There are never any late meetings.

F: What are you saying?

M: It's difficult, but I want to be completely honest. I'm seeing° another woman.

F: What?

M: That's right. One who never has to lie to me. She doesn't just tell me what I want to heor all the time. She loves me for who I am, not for who she wants me to be.

F: You fool! If I weren't stroking your ego every step of the way, you wouldn't be where you are today. You’d just be another washed-up, middle-aged man. Everything you have, you owe to me!

M: Is that right? You mean everything I owe is because of everything you have. I've worked hard for years just so you can spend all of my money on yourself. Your new dresses and diamonds, indeed!

F: You wouldn't have any money if I didn't guide you all the time. So, have me, see if I care. Go to your “other woman." See what happens then, when you're ie to your aim devices. But, after you fail, don't come begging me for help. It's over!

M: You, too. When you don t have any of my money to spend any more, don't come back to me for more. I'm tired of supporting you.

F: And I'm equally tired of all the psychological support I've given you!