SYM-20-How would you respond?

Every problem can be solved, or at least alleviated, by thinking It through and then applying an appropriate remedy. Of course, we of so need to realize what result we hope to accomplish, or we will solve one problem only to have to deal with another instead.

How would you respond if your child had no interest in studying?

(1) Have a private Tudor.

(2) Force him or her to study more.

(3) Support his or her other interests.

(4) Let the child establish his or her own priorities in life.

(5) Offer financial incentives for improved performance.

Sample answers

(A) First, we would need to know what the underlying factors are. Is the schoolwork too easy, so the child is bored, or too hard, so the child needs more help? Is the lack of interest due to peer pressure, or is it because the child does not like the teacher or the subject matter? Perhaps some other interest, such as athletics or art or music, is taking too much time, or maybe the child is "in love." It is even possible that a difficulty at home is the root cause of the poor performance at school. But before we can do anything we need to know what we are dealing with.

(B) Try the old "carrot-and stick" approach. This refers to the method of urging forward a mule drawn wagon. Hang a carrot a few inches in front of the hungry mule's nose so he will keep walking toward it. Meanwhile, hit him with a big stick when he slows down or stops. In other words, promise rewards for good behavior and punishment for bad; this works most of the time.

Speak your mind

How would you respond if:

1. Your salary was cut?

2. Your young child went through your wallet?

3. Your son or daughter got caught shoplifting?

4. Your parents demanded a large allowance every month for pocket money?

5. Your wife wanted to divvy up the chokes 50:50?

6. Your boss insisted on unpaid overtime three times a week?

7. Your sweetheart suddenly broke off your relationship.'

8. Your friend asked to borrow some money.'

9. Your grown child announced the intention to stay single forever?

10. The government decided to raise cigarette and liquor taxes drastically?

Speak your mind helpers

How would you respond if:

1. Your salary was cut?

(A) My company would not do that to me unless it were in desperate financial trouble. So I guess the only thing I could do would be to cut my spending as much as possible and knuckle down to work even harder so that my firm could become more competitive. That way, it could restore my salary more quickly and perhaps even give me a raise.

(B) That would be outrageous. I would either stop working for that outfit immediately or I would long on until I found another job. I could not continue working for anyone that thought so little of my talent and loyalty.

2. Your young child went through your wallet?

(A) Children quite naturally wonder about everything, and their curiosity should be encouraged, not inhibited. So I would not do anything. Besides, I don't have anything to hide or be embarrassed about, so why should I care?

(B) Kids need to learn that other people have a right to privacy. The first time, I would try to explain the concept to my child. The second time, I would explain it again in different terms and also give warning that I would not tolerate any other infractions. The third time would result in a memorable punishment, and if the behavior continued each incident would be more harshly punished.

3. Your son or daughter got caught shoplifting?

(A) Most of the time kids (and, for that matter adults too) don't shoplift because they feel the need to get something they don't have and can't afford. Usually it is because they need to feel part of a group or because they need attention. So, if my child exhibited this kind of dishonest behavior I would seek psychological counseling for him or her.

(B) If I got a phone call from the police that my child had been caught shoplifting, I would not hurry to the police station. I would take my time and let him or her absorb all the lessons from being in that environment, so that the act would not likely be repeated. I would also apply additional punishment when I got him or her home. I would want to make sure that my child understood that stealing has bad consequences for the thief.

4. Your parents demanded a large allowance every month for pocket money?

(A) I would refuse! I have enough trouble talking care of my own spouse and children. Besides, I could not imagine why they would need to spend so much money on non- necessities.

(B) Although it would be a severe blow to my own financial stability, I would try my best to meet their request. After all, for decades they sacrificed much more than that on my behalf. Everything I have I owe to them. And they would not ask for this money now, unless they felt they really needed it.

5. Your wife wanted to divvy up the chores 50:50?

(A) If we both worked outside the home, I think her request would be very fair indeed. Or we could jointly hire a housekeeper to do the chores. But if my wife didn‘t have any other responsibilities except maintaining our place, I would be extremely reluctant to do anything more unless it were an emergency of some sort.

(B) Deriving a numerical value for each of the chores would be very difficult, so how could we know what an exact division looked like? Is drying the dishes equivalent to washing them? Is cleaning the floor equal to carrying out the garbage? What is doing the laundry worth? Shopping? Of course, we could write each chore on a piece of paper and pick them randomly. Or we could alternate doing the same chore.

6. Your boss insisted on unpaid overtime three times a week?

(A) In most countries, overtime work gets paid at "time and a half" or "double time" (or even "triple time," if it is on a holiday). This means that the hourly wage is multiplied by 1.3 or 2 (or 5) for every extra hour one puts in. Under these circumstances, I would gladly do more work. But not for free or even at my regular wage.

(B) I could go along with this if it were a temporary situation and we were behind on our contract obligations. And of course, I would expect the boss to reward me rather generously later on for my work "above and beyond the call of duty." Otherwise, I would not like the situation at all. Maybe I couldn't leave my firm for the time being, but I would certainly be eager to go elsewhere

7. Your sweetheart suddenly broke off your relationship?

(A) This has happened to everyone, hasn't it? We all go through the same phases of hope and despair and self-doubt. We eat too much or not enough and have trouble sleeping. We try to "accidentally" be places where we think he or she will see us, to remind that person of how much we had meant to each other. Perhaps we send desperate messages via mutual friends. But, eventually, life returns to normal — until the next time it happens. And then we undergo the same process all over again.

(B) If that happened to me, I would be glad that it happened when it did, rather than later on when the parting would be even more difficult. Obviously, this break-up would be a clear sign that we were not compatible after all, so splitting up sooner rather than later would be the best solution.

8. Your friend asked to borrow some money?

(A) It would depend on who and how much. I would loan small amounts to some people, and if they never paid me back I could live will it; but I wouldn’t risk any large sums on them. For really good friends, who had stable personalities and good prospects, I'd be willing to do more for them, but I'd probably a3k tor some sort of collateral just in case.

(B) My grandfather turned down an opportunity to go into a lucrative venture with my uncle because he thought that money and family should be kept separate. I think he was absolutely right, and even more so in the case of friends. Too many people I know lost both their friend and their money by placing trust above good sense.

9. Your grown child announced the intention to stay single forever?

(A) I wish I had decided to do that! My experience with marriage has really turned me off that institution for good. I say, let people wed who desperately want to, but try hard to avoid the situation if you can. We can get all the benefits of marriage without having to suffer from the disabilities.

(B) I would not stand for that decision at all, Children have obligations to their parents, and these include passing on the family name and genes in a respectable manner. Staying single js just an example of excessive selfishness, and I would hope that I had raised my own kids better than that.

10. the government decided to raise cigarette and liquor taxes drastically?

M: Let's go out.

F: Great! Where to? What's the special occasion?

M: We need to go to a nightclub or a bar every night this week, if we can. And next week too!

F: Why? What are we celebrating?

M: We aren't celebrating anything. Just the opposite, actually.

F: I don't understand, What's going on here?

M: The taxes on alcohol and tobacco are going up 200/o next month, so we need to take advantage of the lower prices while we can.

F: Don't be silly. You'll go broke partying every night just to save a little money later.

M: But there won't be any later. I can't afford to go out once the new prices take effect. So I need to use up all my going-out now, while I can.

F: Why don't you just stock up on extra cigarettes and booze now? And then you'll have an adequate supply when the price hike goes into effect.

M: But eventually I'll run out, and I still won't be able to go out. So, just indulge me. Let's have a good time while we still can!

F: OK, I'm game. But if you come to your senses, let me know. I won't be disappointed when we stop.

M: Don't worry. We’11 have to stop soon enough. Let's go!

SYM-19-Do you like your job?

A few people enjoy their jobs and, in addition, are well paid. They ought to be very happy about that. Most people, however, who are well paid do not enjoy their work; and many who find joy in their occupation are paid very little. Which do you think is more important-job satisfaction or salary?

What is the most important aspect about your job?

(1) Salary 

(2) Job satisfaction 

(3) Job security

(4) Fringe benefits

(5) Working hours

(6) Promotions

(7) Location

(8) Travel 

(9) My boss

(10) My colleague

Sample answers

(A) Work is just that, no matter what it entails: performing some repetitive task in order to make money. But the one variable that makes or breaks any job is the people one works with. If an esprit de corps develops among the employees, even a boring or arduous task seems almost like fun. But without that spirit, simple or interesting occupations alike become tiresome.

(B) One of the best jobs I ever had (at least at the time) was also my worst-paying one. I was a lifeguard. I was nineteen and lived at home, so I didn't have any real expenses. I worked long hours most days, from mid-morning until dark, and had some unpleasant job duties to perform to keep the pool clean. And I admit that I didn't much like giving swimming lessons to little kids every morning. But the rest of the day I got paid for sitting around in the sun, flirting with pretty girls in skimpy bathing suits, and occasionally blowing my whistle. What a life!

Speak your mind

1. Do you enjoy your job? Why or why not?

2. Do you take pride in your work?  

3. Are you satisfied with your salary?

4. What is the ideal occupation? If you don't have it, why not?

5. Are you happy with your supervisor and colleagues at work?

6. Is anything wrong with a wife making more money than her husband?

7. Do you believe some jobs are more prestigious than others? Why or why not?

8. What determines occupational prestige?

Speak your mind helpers

1. Do you enjoy your job? Why or why not?

(A)

I love my job! I've been doing it for twenty-seven years, and it has always given me tremendous happiness. No two days are ever the same, and there are always new challenges to solve. The only way to resolve them is to work closely with other people. This is not always easy to do, of course, but progress is always noticeable even if not immediate. And the feedback I get from success is the best part. Oh, by the way, I'm a teacher.

(B)

]‘ve had lots of jobs in my day, but the one I have now is absolutely the worst. I don't seem to f/t in at all. Everyone else has been there a long time, and the cliques have already formed without me. The boss is a slave driver who is never happy with my performance, even though I know that I’m the most productive person in the department. But this isn't the worst part. I know that if I had this same job with another company, I'd get 20% more pay. I'd like to quit, but I don't have any money saved up. So I guess I have to grin and be0r /t until something better comes along.

2. Do you take pride in your work?

(A)

There's no longer anything new about my job. It is all very routine now. I can do it half-asleep. I learned long ago that doing a job in an acceptable, professional manner is all that matters. Doing it enthusiastically doesn't mean anything. So I save my energy for private matters that are of more interest to me.

(B)

If we don‘t take pride in our work, what's the point in doing it? Our jobs take up more time in life than anything else except sleeping. Sleeping is necessary but a waste of time; but work is an opportunity to excel at something, to make up for the time lost at night. I'm always glad to throw myself into any new project and take joy in accomplishing it.

3. Are you satisfied with your salary?

(A)

I thought I'd be quite content with my salary when I took the job. But in the context of

my expenses, it really is not at all adequate. I don't think my firm understands how much money I have to spend merely in order to do my job properly: things like new clothes and equipment I had to buy to use at home. I'm hoping for some reasonable compensation, but if I don't get it, I'll look for some other work.

(B)

No one is ever satisfied! The richest person in the world still wants more money. So, in that sense, of course I'm not satisfied. If someone offers me a raise, I‘ll take it. | won't say, “Sorry, I have all the money I need.” On the other hand, realistically speaking, I think my salary is fair for the kind of work I perform. And it's enough to pay my bills and support my family. So I don't have much to complain about.

4. What is the ideal occupation? If you don't have it, why not?

(A)

Being a creative artist, writer, or musician would be the ideal job. These people don't put in nine-to-five jobs. They do what they most enjoy, to meet their own interior needs. So, in the truest sense of the term, they work for themselves. But by so doing, they also work for all the rest of us. Most of them don't make much money, but a few become fabulously wealthy and famous. If I had the talent, that is what I'd like to do.

(B)

People g/one various occupations, such as athletics or politics. But, actually, any kind of job can be “ideal” if it entails the opportunity to grow with it. One starts off at the bottom and has to learn how the job works at that level. Gradually or quickly, one masters those skills and goes on to more demanding ones. As the job grows in difficulty and responsibility, one gets promoted and earns more money. No matter how far one goes, there are still new things to learn, step by step. So, for any job, the s\y is the limit in terms of success and satisfaction.

5. Are you happy with your supervisor and colleagues at work?

(A)

I have a new boss, so I don't know yet. My colleagues and I are discussing the situation, but we haven‘t formed any consensus yet. Our old boss was a great guy. He knew his business and how to inspire his people. In my opinion, he was always fair. So I hope the new one will do well, but it's hard to imagine anyone doing it better.

(B)

There are a lot of new people in my office. None of them seems to know what to do or how to do it. So far, none of them has revealed much of his personality; they are all too busy struggling to keep up to do much socializing. Workdays are just one new headache after another, since I not only have to do my own job but theirs as well, and none of them seems very eager to change this situation. It would serve them all right — and my boss, too, for hiring them — if I just decided to up and quit.

6. Is anything wrong with a wife malting more money than her husband?

(A)

Men still have their pride. For millions of years, they have had to sacrifice many of the enjoyments of life in order to protect and tend to their families’ welfare. Women stayed at home to make the men's hardships worthwhile it. This system worked well for a long, long time, but with the rise of the independent woman everything is falling apart. Kids are running wild, and as women become more and more like men in their attitudes, men in turn are becoming less manly. I don't like these developments at all.

(B)

The family income is the mutual possession of the entire household. It does not matter who adds the most money; in the end, everyone benefits from it equally. If the wife (or husband) does not have an income, he (or she) nonetheless contributes to the well-being of the family. But if they both work, the family does better. It is silly to think in terms of competition in u co-operative enterprise like a family.

7. Do you believe some jobs are more prestigious than others? Why or why not?

(A)

It might be nice to believe that all jobs have equal dignity and worth, but it simply isn't true. A plumber is never going to have the same prestige as an architect, even though they are both highly skilled, well-paid, and in the same occupational field. However, please note that I am not saying the architect is a better person than the electrician or has any special privileges; but the jobs are widely different in terms of status.

(B)

Perceptions of prestige vary greatly. The Mongols assigned a status to every position and placed poets below prostitutes, while other societies have put their national poets on a pedestal above all others. Even within the same culture, status-ranking is variable. In the United Kingdom, there is strong class consciousness, and the members of the working class want to preserve their special identity. They dress, talk, and play in ways that are distinctively their own, and they generally want their children to get good working-class jobs rather than aspire to any of the professions that belong to the other classes. So, it is not so much a matter of prestige as it is appropriateness.

8. What determines occupational prestige? 

M: What are you reading?

F: A movie magazine. I'm just checking up on how my favorite stars are doing.

M: You mean what movies they are making, so you know what to look forward to?

F Well, I guess I'm more interested in how much they make and how they live and who they're making love to.

M: Why is any of that important?

F: It's just something to fantasize about, since I know I'll never lead that kind of life.

M: The celebrities in that magazine are nothing spec ia1. They just get a lot of attention, but they don't do much that's important. They don't build anything. They don't discover or invent anything. They aren't working on the problems of world hunger, peace, or justice. All they do in life is look pretty.

F: But they have a lot more prestige and money than any scientist or politician. Or, for that matter, religious leader or poet. Certainly, a lot more money and prestige than a teacher or nurse. So, what's so important about being useful? Obviously, being a star is more important than anything else.

M: That's what's wrong with our worth. We don't reward the ones who do the most for us. Our fantasies are preferable to our real lives. If this continues, life will degenerate instead of progress, because the people who can make a positive difference won't have any incentive to continue. And then our fantasy lives will become even more important as an escape from the dreary drudgery we find ourselves trapped in.

F: See, that's why these celebrity lifestyles attract our attention. We want better things, but we can't have them. But we can dream about them, and sometimes, if we work hard, we can make these dreams come true. But i1 we don't have any idea of what the “good life” is, how could we ever aspire to it?

SYM-18-Do you want to be a millionaire?

Why would anyone want to be a millionaire? I want to be a billionaire! Having a million dollars is relatively common these days. There are well over a million millionaires just in the Unites States alone. To be really rich, one needs at least a cool billion. That seems like a lot of money, I know; and some people would say that no one needs that much, that this kind of wealth just perpetuates poverty in general. But from my perspective, poor people will always be poor no matter how much money I have, so I might as well make as much as I can and let them worry about themselves.

What is your own approach to get rich?

(1) Continue to save up

(2) Start my own business

(3) Inherit a fortune

(4) Win o lottery

(5) Marry a rich person

(6) Get a good education that will lead to a good job

Sample answers

(A) I want to run my own business. I‘m sure that I could do very well developing software solutions for the general public. I already know a lot about the subject, and the start-up costs are pretty low. And I think that earning money through one's own talent and hard work provides much more satisfaction in life than just having someone else give you a salary or having a rich parent or spouse.

(B) Saving money is simply a matter of habit, just like spending it. Years ago, I decided to set aside five percent of my salary every time, no matter how little that was. I would spend the rest of it, wisely or foolishly, as I saw fit, but that five percent would always be my payment to myself, to squirrel way for future use. In a short while, I never even thought about the five percent, and I never missed it; to all practical purposes, from week to week it just never existed: if I didn't have it, I certainly couldn't spend it. But now this small figure has grown into quite a fortune, and I know that I never have to worry about my finances again, even if I lose my job.

Speak your mind

1. Is it important for you to get rich? Why or why not?

2. Are you saving money in the bank? Why or why not?

3. Do you buy lottery tickets regularly? Why or why not?

4. How much money is enough?

5. What do you think about the rich?

6. What do you think about the poor?

7. What's the difference between the rich and the poor?

8. Do you think the rich have a responsibility to help the poor? Why or why not?

9. Is society responsible for taking care of the poor?

10. What is your idea on how to narrow the gap between wealth and poverty?

11. Which do you think is more difficult, making money or spending it? Why?

Speak your mind helpers

1. Is it important for you to get rich? Why or why not?

(A) I must get rich. All my friends are rich. They get to do anything they want. They travel to Europe every year, they live in nice houses, they own fancy cars, and they eat in the best restaurants in town. I enjoy doing these things too, so I don't have any choice: I must get rich.

(B) When I think about all the hard work and the dishonesty and cheating needed to become truly rich, I just get a headache. As long as I have enough money to take care of my basic needs and have a little left over for pleasure, that‘s quite enough. At least I have a clear conscience and the time to enjoy it!

2. Are you saving money in the bank? Why or why not?

(A) I used to. But then I realized how low the return is. Saving money in the bank may be safe, but no one will ever get rich that way. So I prefer to invest in stocks and bonds. The risk is higher, but so are the rewards.

(B) I talk to my friends about their investments all the time. It's always the same: they wish that they had bought some stock before it took off, or that they had sold some other stock before its value plummeted. They never seem satisfied with the choices they make. As far as I‘m concerned, I'd rather just put my money in the bank and know that it's going to make me a small profit every month. That way, I don't have to constantly second-guess myself.

3. Do you buy lottery tickets regularly? Why or why not?

(A) Buying lottery tickets is just a waste of time and money. The odds of getting struck by lightning or of going to the moon are better than winning the lottery. Almost everyone will spend far more on tickets than he will ever get back in prizes.

(B) I know that I will never be rich no matter how hard I work. My only chance is if I win a lottery. My odds are just as good as anyone else's, and I know that someone will always win. It doesn't cost very much to enter, and I'll never notice not having that money: I would probably just waste it on something foolish, anyway. But if I buy a ticket, at least I have hope. Even if I never win anything, having hope is a very valuable possession. It's better than carefully saving my money and, in thirty years becoming only slightly richer than I am now, without any hope of improvement.

4. How much money is enough?

(A} The amount constantly changes. However, much money we have, we always want more. For just a little more money, we can always get a slightly better car or live in a slightly better apartment. Our appetites always expand with our wallets.

(B) Everyone needs to eat and drink, be protected from the environment, and avoid disease. But would living at that level really be” living”? Human beings also need beauty, companionship, intellectual discourse, and comfort. These things may not cost a lot, but they are necessary for our happiness.

5. What do you think about the rich?

(A) Rich people are greedy, conceited snobs who care about nothing except their own bottom line. Wealthy people know how to live the good life and have the capacity for doing so. If money is no object, then why not enjoy the best?

(B) Rich people have earned the reward for their own hard work and intelligence. At the same time, they tend to be community leaders. If something needs to be done, these are the people most likely to find the ways and means of accomplishing it. They are often extremely generous in giving money to charity, religious organizations, medical research, educational development, political causes, museums, and so forth. They do not make money from these activities, but they feel a sense of responsibility.

6. What do you think about the poor?

(A) If people would work hard, go to school, and look after their own affairs in an intelligent manner, they would never be poor. There is no difference between poor people and rich people, except that the poor Iacl‹ opportunities to get ahead. Usually, their parents were poor too and could not afford to educate them well. Most of the time, they have serious health problems that affect their ability to succeed. If their life had been different early on, their lives today would also be different.

(B) Most pool people are doomed to repeat their poverty no matter how much money they make in a lottery or by other means. They are poor because they make bad choices. They play around when they should be studying or working hard. They spend their money on frivolous activities or unneeded items. When they get a job, they act irresponsibly. They never quite seem to realize that getting money is a long- term project that requires constant, diligent attention.

7. What's the difference between the rich and the poor?

(A) There is only one difference: the rich have more money. A rich person may not be any smarter or better educated than a poor person. He may or may not be more ethical. Perhaps he came from a socially prominent family, or maybe he is a self-made man. But he has demonstrated his ability to use his talents to make money: that is the only thing that sets him apart from the rest of us.

(B) The poor are a problem in every society. Because they don't have money, they often don't get enough to eat. Because they don‘t get enough to eat, they have health problems. Because they have health problems, they miss a lot of school or, when they are older, they miss a lot of time at work. So, they don't have much opportunity to get out of poverty. The rich, however, have advantages most of their lives. They live in comfortable homes, eat well, have their medical problems taken care of by the best doctors, and get good educations and jobs. Unfortunately, a lot of wealthy people do not try to make life better for the poor; they only want to make themselves even richer.

8. Do you think the rich have a responsibility to help the poor? Why Or why not?

(A) We all have a responsibility to help those who are less fortunate than ourselves. This obligation does not vanish among the wealthy; ¡f anything, it is an even greater responsibility, since they actually have the means to make a significant difference.

(B) People have the freedom of choice. If a rich person wants to give away part of his fortune on charity, that is entirely his own decision. But it is also his own business if he decides to keep his own money or spend it on himself. After a|I, he worked hard to get his wealth; he risked his own capital/ or had the courage and skill to introduce some new item or service. (And, of course he pays more in taxes than others, and a lot of that money is used for social welfare.) So, why should he feel obligated to contribute any more?

9. Is society responsible for taking care of the poor?

(A) Poverty is an expensive drag on any society. Providing free food, housing, and medical care is an enormous burden on the economy. If we could provide jobs for everyone, poverty (by definition) would disappear, and all the goods and services the working people provided would be more plentiful as a result, so the entire society would benefit.

(B) One can argue about economics if one likes, but the real issue is a moral one. How can anyone live with himself if he selfishly allows other human beings to starve to death? How can any decent person sleep at night if he knows that others are dying due to lack of medical care? There is only one human race: we owe it to ourselves to help each other in times of distress. If we have the ability to provide relief but do nothing, how can we expect any aid for ourselves when we are in need?

10. What is your idea on how to narrow the gap between wealth and poverty?

(A) At the low end, we should take an active role in making sure everyone has decent housing, education, health care, nutrition, and the opportunity to enjoy the arts as well as the time to look after the family. These are the qualities that define our humanity. To pay for this, we should not be afraid to impose high taxes on the super- rich, eradicate tax shelters, and discourage conspicuous consumption.

(B) Social engineering just does not work. Humankind has had lots of experience trying to construct utopias. Nevertheless, in every society, there are relatively rich and relatively poor people. The difference is often a matter of personal choice and dedication. To imagine that we can close the gap is like believing we can make all people the same height or give everyone the same I.Q.

11. Which do you think is more difficult, making money or spending it? Why?

M: Bills, bills, bills! Why don't people send me checks in the mail instead of bills?

F: You exaggerate. Your salary is far more than these bills. But in return, we live in this nice home, our kids go to good schools, and we can take pride in our appearance and status. A small price for these advantages!

M: But don't you realize how huge our debt is? If something happened at work, or if I had a medical emergency, we'd quickly lose everything we've worked so hard for. We really need to start saving substantial amounts in order to put outside or a rainy day. I'm not going to work forever, you know!

F: But it's just temporary. Aren't you expecting a promotion soon? I think we should just maintain our current level of expenditure for the time being and save the surplus from your next raise. That way we don't have to give up anything, and we'll still be able to put something ahead for later.

M: We've had this discussion before. Every time I get a raise, we say that we'll continue our old level of spending and save the rest, but it never works out that way, does it? Within a few months, we're spending more than we ever did and falling even further into debt.

F: But it's not as though we're spendthrifts! We don't waste money on things we don't need. If we can't have nice things, why bother to have money at all?

M: Look, I don't want to live like a monk, either. But I do think we could be a little more careful. Do we really need to entertain guests so often? Can't we stay home for once instead of taking an expensive vacation? two you really need another pair of shoes right now? Can’t I get by with the car we have, or do I have to get a new one right away?

F: Oh, we're fine. But, if we cut back too much, our friends will think something is wrong. They'll be worried that things are not going well at your company. They won't want to burden us financially, so they will see us socially less often. This could affect our kids' status at school, and our daughter would no longer be considered such a desirable catch. Is that what you want?

M: Well, when you put it that way, I guess we'll just have to keep things the way they

are, won't we?

SYM-17-What did you forget?

Some people naturally have poor memories, but almost everybody becomes more forgetful as he gets older. People may try to slow this phenomenon by doing mental exercises such as reading and writing, but the process nevertheless continues. Some folks lose their ability to recall names, others can’t remember where they parked their car. In extreme cases, they no longer recognize friends or loved ones. 

What do you forget most often?

(1) I forget where I parked.

(2) I’m not sure if I locked the door when I left.

(3) I need a shopping list to remember what I need to buy

(4) I forget appointments.

(5) I forget special days like birthdays and anniversaries.

(6) Sometimes I lock the car with the keys inside

(7) I forget secret numbers and passwords all the time

 Sample answers

(A) When I got old, I sometimes forgot to zip my pants back up after I urinated. But now that I'm older, I forget to unzip before I urinate. Do you think I have a memory problem?

(B) Yesterday was a horribly hectic day for me. I had an important appointment that I almost forgot about. Fortunately, at the last minute, the person I was supposed to meet called to confirm it, so I left my office in plenty of time to get there. Unfortunately, I was confused about the meeting place and went to the wrong location. After waiting a long time for the man to show up, I was ready to leave in disgust and anger, but he called me again and then I realized I was in the wrong place. Very gracious/y, he forgave me for my mistake, and I rushed off to the correct spot. I thought I knew a shortcut, but I was wrong and it took quite a bit longer to get there. Fortunately, he was still waiting for me when I arrived. Unfortunately, I forgot what we were supposed to talk about at the meeting, so we had a friendly but rather bewildering chat and then went our separate ways. It was not until I got back to the office and loo ked in the folder I had left on my desk that I finally remembered the purpose. I immediately called him to set up another meeting, but it was too late, he had already made arrangements with some other firm. So my company lost an important contract. When it's time for my next promotion, I hope my boss will be able to forget about this incident.

Speak your mind

1. What kinds of things are you most likely to forget about?

2. What have you done to improve your memory? Was it successful? Why or why not?

3. Have you ever forgotten anything that seriously mattered?

4. Does your sweetheart always remember your birthday or anniversary?

3. What is the best way to make someone remember special days?

Speak your mind helpers

1. What kinds of things are you most likely to forget about?

(A)

I‘m terrible with phone numbers (especially my own, since I never call it). It’s a good thing most cell phones remember these numbers for us, or I‘d never be able to call anyone.

(B)

It‘s embarrassing, to say the least, to be introducing two people whom I know very well and, at that moment, completely forget both their names!

2. What have you done to improve your memory? Was it successful? Why or why not?

(A)

I've heard that eating a lot of fish improves memory. I never liked to eat seafood, but I thought I‘d try it and see. Eventually, however, my profound d is gust for sea cucumbers outweighed my desire to remember things, so I gave up the experiment.

(B)

The brain is like any other muscle; exercise makes it stronger. Th e key to remembering most things is to associate them with an object or sound. If there are a string of items to be learned, construct those objects or sounds into some sort of narrative, the more bizarre or sexy the better. It's amazing what we can remember this way, no matter how complex or obscure the target information.

3. Have you ever forgotten anything that seriously mattered?

(A)

Once I forgot to meet my wife after work. So I went home while she waited for me elsewhere. When I got home I became very worried that she wasn't there. It wasn't until much later that night, when she came home screaming mad, that I remembered our engagement. We laugh about it now, but it was not funny at the time.

(B)

One time I missed the deadline to pay my taxes. The forms were all filled out and ready to go, but I neglected to go to the post office right away, and then it just slipped my mind. It ended up costing me a lot of money in interest and fines, even though I was originally due to receive a refund. I won't ever do that again!

4. Does your sweetheart always remember your birthday or anniversary?

(A)

I never have to worry about that. She has a perfect memory for her friends' special days. I don't know how she manages to do it, since she has such a large family. I'm not like that, though; many times I forget it‘s my own birthday until she reminds me. Knowing my poor memory for these things, she‘s also very good at suit/y reminding me in advance when her birthday or our anniversary is approaching, so I never get embarrassed that way.

(B)

Last year I swore that my husband would never forget my birthday again, so from now on I will make sure to tell his friends to remind him. So, now, he will have no excuses.

5. What is the best way to make someone remember special days?

M: Why do you have that string wrapped around your finger? 1s this some new find

Of fashion statement?

F: It helps me remember things. I'll constantly be seeing it there, and so I'll be forced to remind myself to remember something important.

M: Really? Does it work?

F: It does now, but it took me awhile to learn how to associate the fact that I needed to remember something with the actual item I wanted to remember. But once you figure out that trick, it works every time.

M: Very interesting. But what do you mean, “trick”?

F: Developing a good memory is really just playing games with your mind. All of the information is there, but sometimes you just have to be creative in the retrieval process. It's easier to do if you make it fun.

M: Can you give me an example?

F: OK. This is a green string on my finger, right? I associate green with a park, so this reminds me that I have to get a gift for my neighbor, Mr. Part, to celebrate his daughter's wedding.

M: Oh, I see. But don't you need lots of colors of string? And how do you keep them all straight in your mind?

F: This isn't about long term memory at all, it's just a hint to remind me. I could just as easily have associated this string with my boss, Ms. Green, or I could have worn a blue string to remind me how hire my neighbor was when he found out that he was about to lose his daughter.

M: It sounds easy enough. But I really have a terrible memory. I'm sure that I'd forget to tie the string to my finger in the first palate, so I wouldn’t have any clue that 1 was supposed to remember something.

F: You just need to get into the habit of doing something (it doesn’t have to be a string around the finger) to jog your memory. Once you make a concerted effort, it's all pretty easy, actually.

SYM-16-Dieting

These days, most people associate the word “dieting” with losing weight. But the word actually has many shades of meaning. Some dieters want actually to gain weight, not lose it. Others need to adjust their food intake due to health reasons that have nothing directly to do with weight; they may be allergic to some foods or be deficient in some minerals or vitamins. So, diabetics will avoid some kinds of food, while cancer victims will forge themselves on others. In addition, some diets are prescribed by religious or social rules. And, of course, the most general definition of a diet is “that which is customarily eaten”

Why do many diets fail?

(1) Ordinary people don’t know enough about nutrition.

(2) Most people lack will power.

(3) People look for shortcuts (Such as starving themselves of following a fad diet) rather than make the necessary lifestyle changes.

(4) People are dependent on commercial diet medications.

Sample answers

(A)

There is only one thing people need to know to lose weight: they have to burn more calories every day than they store. Usually, this means getting more exercise and eating less. But no matter how one accomplishes it, it is entirely a mathematical process.

(B)

Most lad diets work, for a while, often with very dramatic results over a short period of time. But most followers soon revert to their old habits, and their weight goes back to the old levels. Even in the case of sensible diets, the pattern is usually good progress at first, but then the curve begins to flatten as the body adjusts to the new foods it is consuming. In fact, even extreme solutions such as liposuction often fail, because people do not change their lifestyles sufficiently.

Speak your mind

1. Are you worried about your weight? Why or why not?

2. Is it easy for you to stay fit? Why or why not?

3. Do you know any good way to lose weight?

4. Ordinary people, especial men, gain weight after getting married. Do you have any ideas why?

5. Talk about problems caused by being overweight.

6. Do you know that many people still suffer from being abnormally underweight? What Is a good way to gain weight?

7. Who do you think is more self-conscious about their weight, males or females? why?

Speak your mind helpers

1. Are you worried about your weight? Why or why not?

(A)

I've never cared what I looked like, and I have never weighed myself in my life. The marketers have convinced us that beautiful people have to be thin, but that idea is nonsense! A lot of very fat people have exuberant personalities and are in great health; they are more beautiful by far than the desperate, skinny people who are help us as the ideal. The human body naturally comes in a wide variety of shapes, and none of them is superior to any of the others.

(B)

No matter what anyone says, fat people tend to have more health problems and live shorter lives than thin people. They are also less photogenic and, whether it should be the case or not, are discriminated against. Fat people are regarded as lazy, complacent, and self-indulgent, while thin people are thought of as being dedicated, ambitious, and focused. So, naturally, I prefer being thin.

2. Is it easy for you to stay fit? Why or why not?

(A)

Ever since I was a teenager, I've led an active physical life. The sport may have changed over time — from tennis to golf to swimming- but I've always spent many hours a week devoted to it. I walk a lot, and I take the steps instead of the escalator. So, staying fit has never been a problem.

I used to be a star athlete, but when I grew up to be a responsible adult I became a lot more sedentary. I spend most of my time these days in my car or on a bus or subway going to or from work or a meeting, and then I'm at a desk all day, and afterwards I'm in a coffee shop or bar with my friends before going home. By then, I'm too tired to do much more than watch television or read a magazine. I simply don't have enough time or energy any more to go to the gym regularly, though I

miss the old days of physical action.

3. Do you know any good way to lose weight?

(A)

It's just a matter of will power, actually. Instead of eating three meals a day, gradually cut down to only two. At first, just do this once or twice a week, and then make it every other day, and then limit your three-meal days to just twice a week, and eventually, over the course of two or three months, just eat two meals every day. If you want to lose even more weight, gradually drop down to one meal a day — but not every day! And, of course, you've got to quit that late-night snack — just before bedtime is absolutely the worst time to eat.

(B)

Most people think the key to weight loss is to eat fewer meals, but actually it is the reverse. Instead of consuming two or three large meals every day, people should eat four, five, six, or more small meals. Perhaps on a typical day, one might eat an apple for breakfast, a light snack in midmorning, some vegetables at noon, a sandwich in the afternoon, and a nice steak at night. Variety is important, to make sure we get enough from every food group, but there is no reason not to continue eating the things we most enjoy.

4. Ordinary people, especially men, gain weight after getting married. Do you have any ideas why?

(A)

I hope that the reason is because their wives are good cooks who overfeed their husbands because they love them. But the real reason is probably that, for both men and women, once they are married they don't need to work so hard to attract a mate and more, so they don't watch their appearance as much.

(B)

As people get older, most of them experience a slower metabolism. They are less active physically than when they were younger, and the body stores more calories in the form of fat than it burns off. This may be more true for men, since so many of them are office workers who don't move around as much, while nonworking women tend to be on the move more, shopping, cooking, doing the housework, and so forth.

5. TaII‹ about problems caused by being overweight.

(A)

Health is the biggest problem. Muscle tone and flexibility decline. More stress is put on the heart. Arteries get clogged up, leading to strokes and heart attacks. Even sexual dysfunction is related to obesity. AI I of these problems are further aggravated by smoking and drinking.

(B)

To be fat means being less desirable to others. The beautiful, thin people are always the most popular. They get more dates — and the most desirable mates. At school, their grades are higher, and at work they make more money. It‘s not fair, and I wish I could be like that.

6. Do you know that many people still suffer from being abnormally underweight? What is a good way to gain weight?

(A)

Eating a lot of carbohydrates and protein should add weight rather quickly. This doesn't mean the person will become fat, as long as the dieter takes care to do lots of muscle-building exercise every day.

(B)

My recipe for weight gain is to go to lots of parties. The food and the alcohol wi|I soon do the trick, and it's a very enjoyable way to spend one’s time.

7. Who do you think is more self-conscious about their weight, males or females? Why?

F: You men are lucky! 

M:  Why do you think so?

F: The ads, the movies, TV, videos — all the media focus on beautiful women being as skinny as poles! Men are allowed to be their natural selves who don't have to starve themselves or wear tight clothes that hide their weight.

M Well, I agree that men are lucky if they have a beautiful wife. But women who look that way are lucky, too. They are healthy and popular, and they probably have a rich husband as a result. Men aren't so lucky, because they can’t get by on their looks alone.

F: You're disgraceful! These are exactly the chauvinistic attitudes I was complaining about. I thought that you at least would be more sensitive to the plight of women.

M: Whoa, slow Joan. I'm not trying to insult anyone, I'm just describing the world as 1 see it. Two hundred years ago, women were expected to have large, round bodies, because their motherhood roles were emphasized. Skinny women were undesirable then. But now the focus has shifted. Motherhood is less important now, so the main purpose of a woman is to look good so as to add status to her husband's social role.

F: What! You're even worse than I thought! How can any sane person believe such drivel? Women and men are exactly the same and should have exactly the same rights and privileges.

M: Some rich women have boy-toys of their own, don't they? Isn't that the same thing?

F: Of course it is. How much respect do the boy-toys get from other men? Or even from the women who "own” them? Not much! It should be the same with women — if their only goal in life is to be a trophy for some man, there's something wrong with them.

M: Okay, Okay, I'm sorry I got you so upset. I'm just joking. I don t really believe any of, this nonsense; I just wanted to see your reaction. So, why don't we get something to eat and mute up? My treat!

F: No, I'm sorry. I can't join you for lunch today. Can I take a rain check?

M:  Why not?

F: I'm watching my weight. There's a big new position being created in my office, and I've got to look the part if1 in going to get it.

SYM-15-Personal Habits

Isn’t it funny how one person’s foibles attract us to that person, while those same habits make other people obnoxious to us? Take my boyfriend, for instance. I usually can’t stand it when people talk too much, but I love the fact that he can spend hours on end keeping me entertained with his wonderful, funny stories

What is your sweetheart's worst habit or characteristic?

(1) Being a workaholic 

(2) Smoking and/ or drinking

(3) Messy or unsanitary 

(4) Being a spendthrift

(5) Having a useless or dangerous hobby

(6) Driving too fast and/or carelessly 

(7) No sense of humor 

(8) Habitually late

(9) Not exercising 

(10) Eats too much junk food

(11) Being a tightwad

(12) Snoring

(13) Being a bookworm

(14) Selfish, self -centered

(15) Hot-tempered

(16) Other (explain)

Sample answers

(A) Because I love my husband, I don't want him to get hurt. But he drives much too fast, and I'm afraid it's just a matter of time before he causes a serious accident. Nothing I say seems to make any difference, and I refuse to ride with him or to let our children travel with him in our car. I only pray that he doesn't hurt himself or any one else too badly when the crash comes, and that maybe then he will finally learn his lesson.

(B) My girl friend just doesn't understand me. All she really cares about is herself; everything else is second. Don't get me wrong: I love her, and she has many wonderful qualities. She's honest, intelligent, and fun to be with. But I wish she could be a little less demanding and a little more sensitive about my moods and desires.

Speak you mind

1. Would von want a sweetheart who is cheap? Why or why not?

2. Would you want your sweetheart to be a workaholic? Why or why

3. Have you ever tried to persuade your sweetheart to get rid of his or her bad habits? Did you succeed?

4. What are the most common bad habits men have?

5. What are the most common bad habits women have?

6. What are the most common bad habits old people have?

7. What are your sweetheart's best character traits?

8. Talk about your own good and bad habits.

9. Why is it important to have good habits? How can we acquire them?

10. Many people look forward to the new year as a new start on getting rid of old habits. Have you ever made New Year’s resolutions? What were they? What happened?

Speak your mind helpers

1. Would you want a sweetheart who is cheap? Why or why not?

(A) I used to get upset if my date didn't want to spend much money on me. I took it as an insult. But now that I found a” cheap Charlie” that I want to marry, I realize that it we spend all his money now, we won't have any in the future. I‘m glad I have such a wise, practical boyfriend.

(B) I understand if I‘m on a date with a poor man who can't Spend much money. After all, there are inexpensive, enjoyable things to do, so it is possible to have a good time without bankrupting him. But I could never marry someone like that: I don't want to be poor my whole life. So, if someone shows he loves me by spending a lot of money on me, I can guess that I wouldn't have to worry about my financial future if I marry him.

2. Would you want your sweetheart to be a workaholic? Why or why not

(A) I want my sweetheart to be preoccupied with me, not with work. Mutual attention and care are much better than a det0ched relationship and a profitable situation. could never be happy with someone who put possessions over personal relationships.

(B) I admire workaholics. They are energetic, focused, dedicated, and successful. These are the people who make important things happen and gain the respect of others. Being married to one might be a little lonely sometimes, but that would be a small price to pay to be associated with someone of such talent and stature.

3. Have you ever tried to persuade your sweetheart to get rid of his or her bad habits? Did you succeed?

(A) I nagged my husband about exercising more for ten years. I knew he would feel better and look better, and I'd feel happier when I was with him if he could cut a more dashing figure. But he wouldn't listen to me, no matter how hard I tried. So we got a divorce. Now he doesn't have to listen to my complaints, and I can spend my time with a handsome man.

(B)

My sweetheart's bad habits are part of the package. I fell in love with the whole person, negatives as well as positives. I'm afraid if she changed her habits she'd become someone different, and I'd lose my desire for her. Or she'd stop loving me.

4. What are the most common bad habits men have?

(A) Too many men are only interested in sex. There are many other bases for a close, intimate relationship. After all, women have brains and personalities, not just breasts and genitals.

(B) A lot of men are too focused on their jobs and on spending time with their male colleagues after work, rather than sharing their lives with their wife and children at home.

5. What are the most common bad habits women have?

(A) Off the top of my head, I think women gossip too much. They want to share all the secret details of other people's lives, even if those details are not true. I‘m glad men aren't like that!

(B) A woman will change her color or wear a wig. She will have surgery done on her breasts, nose, eyes, or other body parts to make herself more attractive. She will spend a fortune on cosmetics to hide her true appearance, and wear clothes that camouflage her physical defects. To look taller, she will wear long heels even though they are uncomfortable and unhealthy. And, then, she will complain that she can't find a “real man.”

6. What are the most common bad habits old people have?

(A} Old folks reminisce too much about the past. They talk about people I never heard of and events that happened before I was born, as though any of these things are important to me. I can't understand why they don't live in the present, like the rest of us.

(B) I wish the old people I know would act their own ape instead of pretending to be kids. It is not suitable for them to try to act as foolishly as their own kids, wearing only the newest fashions whether they look good in them or not, dancing, drinking, and carrying on. How can they earn our respect unless they behave properly?

7. What are your sweetheart's best character traits?

(A) It's hard to say. She’s perfect. But I guess her outstanding characteristic is her good sense of humor. No matter what happens, she's upbeat and optimistic, and just being with her makes me feel that way too.

(B) My boyfriend is very understanding. I know sometimes I can be pretty hard to handle. My moods change quickly and I have a lot on my mind. But no matter what, he's on my side. Nothing gets him down or disappoints him. I'm very fortunate to have someone like him, whom I can always count on.

8. Talk about your own good and bad habits.

(A) I guess I'm too shy. Talking doesn’t come easily to me, especially when I‘m among strangers. I don't like to draw attention to myself. But I'm a good listener, and I think I'm sensitive to other people's feelings. So I can be a good, loyal friend to people who know me well.

(B) I'm not perfect, but I don't have any serious bad habits either. I'm intelligent, funny, hard-working, and ambitious. Most people say I have a dynamic personality, and I‘m popular with members of both sexes. Some people seem to think I‘m Conceited but they're wrong.

9. Why is it important to have good habits? How can we acquire them?

(A) Good habits, and bad ones too, usually sneak up on us. We do something unconsciously when we're not paying attention, and pretty soon we are doing it all the time. It‘s very hard to train ourselves to acquire good habits or to get rid of bad ones.

(B) Good habits help us to achieve our goals and be happier, better people; bad habit› 9et in our way. So we need to be constantly vigilant about our behavior. If we see the need to get up early every day, for example, we need to discipline ourselves to go to bed early and to stop lingering in bed after we wake up. This can be hard, especially if we are used to being lazy in the morning, but it only takes a few weeks of iron discipline and it becomes habitual. I don't understand people who say it‘s hard to get good habits; I don't think they ever try. I guess their will power isn't as strong as their “won't power.”

10. Many people look forward to the new year as a new start on getting rid of old habits. Have you ever made New Year's resolutions? What were they? What happened?

F: What are your New Year's resolutions this year?

M: If I tell you, they won't come true.

F: Don't be silly! If you tell me, maybe I can help you achieve them.

M: Well, OK. I want to lose some weight. Can you help me with that?

F: Sure! Just start coming to my house to eat. I'm a terrible cook, so you won't have much appetite.

M: I also want to improve my vocabulary, but I don't read very much. What can I do?

F: I suggest that you listen to me more. I love to talk and 1 know lots of words!

M: Last year I tried to quit smoking, but it didn't work out. I did fine for about a week, but then I started up again. What could you have done to help me then?

F: Usually people smoke in certain situations, for example when they are in a bar drinking with their friends. So you should have avoided those circumstances and done something else, such as going to a restaurant or a movie with me.

M: What about you? Did you make any resolutions?

F: I swore I would do my best to get you to spend more time with me so we could get closer.

M: Really? I think it’s working.